Dude. Can you feel the excitement? This Sunday, folks everywhere are polishing their wide-screen TVs for one of the most exciting events in television all year.
That's right, I'm talking about Puppy Bowl.
Of course, I know not everyone is as much of a sports enthusiast as I am, so perhaps instead you'll be tuning into some lesser event. I'm sure there's bound to be something on. Whatever you are watching, though, you might as well make an event of it. You know, have a few buds over, bust out the chips, dress for the occasion, enjoy a little quality bro time.
Whoa, those guys are really crazy for puppies.
Anyhow, I may not know much about sports, but I do know any televised event that contains the word "Bowl" requires copious amounts of hardy, gut-building man chow.
Wait, what? You were expecting us to conjure up some fancy new thing to serve this Sunday? Look, we have cooked our fingers to the bone for the last four years. I'm serving leftovers from the archive. Hey, they're still good. Maybe a little freezer burn here and there. You'll eat what you're given. Children are starving in Haiti. Finish your plate.
A favorite for another animal-themed sporting event, Hot Browns are big, messy, fatty sandwiches commonly eaten at the Kentucky Derby. We miniaturized them into hors d'oeuvre form. Cuz, you know, we're dainty like.
Why not honor all the good-hearted men and women at Rocket Dog who rescued countless four-legged friends by serving up a piping hot bowl of New Orleans Jambalaya? I seem to recall they also have human sports teams in the Big Easy.
They may make you think of church socials and Easter potlucks, but believe me when I tell you that if you whip up a few dozen deviled eggs, they will get scarfed up by halftime.
It just ain't Puppy Bowl without pizza. Problem is, everyone and their bitch is ordering out; in fact, more pizza is ordered on this one Sunday every year than on any other day. So make your own, why don't you? Break from the pack and try a white pizza, pizza quattro stagioni or get creative with your toppings.